What do you think?
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The following is an edited version of a conversation I had recently with a friend—with some added material in brackets.
Carolyn: So my blog is pretty much ready to publish and in the last few days, I've really been having cold feet because of certain people’s possible reaction to what I am writing.
Woman Friend: Is there anyone you especially fear seeing it?
Carolyn: Yes, some people in my family, and even a few friends—because of the sexual parts.
Woman Friend: Not just noticing pleasure in everyday things and experiencing pleasure in general.
Carolyn: No, I’m not worried about the response to feeling pleasure in general—that’s part of what I’m saying—noticing the things in our world every day that actually bring us pleasure. It’s what I’m proposing in addition that frightens me—experiencing non-sexual pleasures sexually—through the body. For example, if I’m looking at a beautiful flower, besides looking at it, delighting in the colors, the shape of the petals, as one would do, having thoughts, associations, emotions—to let myself actually feel a pleasurable sensation in my vulva so that I’m not just taking in that flower in my head and my heart. You know, I’m not just saying, “Oh that's a beautiful flower!” Combined with that mental and emotional admiration, I am allowing myself to have a physical feeling of sexual pleasure in the moment that I am experiencing that flower, or that sunset, or light on leaves, or listening to a piece of music—
Woman Friend: Or, looking at the cute guy going by!
Carolyn: Or looking at that cute guy going by! Yeah, or petting my dog, or cooking something, or eating something delicious. Now, I never thought about taking in the pleasure of eating as a slight sexual sensation in my vulva? Suppose I do that? Does it do something to reduce my cravings for food in the long run?
Woman Friend: Because you are taking in that pleasure in a deeper way.
Carolyn: That's right, yeah, because I’m taking it [the pleasure of the taste] in a deeper way, in a way that activates more of my chakras, more of my energy points. I mean who knows, right? I need to experiment with that. I think my fear of a negative reaction from others goes back to my basic thesis, if you will, that because of religion and morality or Puritanism—whatever you want to call it—we women cut off our everyday energy at the waist. Is it a coincidence that our waists keep getting bigger?
Woman Friend: Maybe you need to ask the readers of your blog what they think about this idea?
Carolyn: Yes. That’s a great suggestion.
What about giving your vulva a name? I call mine Peony.
Readers, this is my question to you that I hope you will answer in your comments:
What kinds of feelings and thoughts come up—positive or negative ones, or anxieties—when you contemplate trying to take into your vulva all kinds of daily delights and pleasures?
[Note: the automatic transcription of this taped conversation continually transcribed vulva as Volvo, as in “taking in the pleasure of eating as a slight sexual sensation in my Volvo?“ so I’ve gotten the giggles multiple times editing this piece.]
